By Desmond Last Copyright ‘I write for a Better World’.
My poem entitled ‘Pavement Marine’ began as a concern for those men and women who give their lives in service for their Nation. Now it is the beginning of a Rock Opera.
The majority of a Nation do not have to wonder everyday if they will see the sunset – from soldier to sailor and from Policeman to fireman they stand as our resolute guardians to danger. For some the emotional trauma they have to bear yet not display to a demanding environment is too much – they commit suicide.
I have expanded the original poetry to the foundation of a Rock opera. I have written the lyrics to the Songs of the first few Acts. Philanthropic Investors are welcome to enquire. Any monies collected will include a significant percentage to scholarships for the children of those soldiers and frontliner’s who have lost their lives defending and working for the Peoples of their Nations. Enquiries to desmondlast1@icloud.com
Pavement Marine is a poem about a United States Marine who commits suicide – one of the 541 US soldiers and veterans who committed suicide in 2018..
This is the opening of the Rock Opera. Act One.
Pavement Marine is – the stark bloody truth of war.
You will be immersed in its horror, its romance, it’s black humour and its final sadness, but most of all its meaning.
The poem is read out loud before the first Act by a enlisted Marine disabled in battle. The arena is pitch black. Silent. Say a word, sneeze a cough, move a muscle and you are kicked out. The spotlight on the Marine. Proud. Defiant. He reads the Words of Pavement Marine.
This is the Poem I have written that provides the subject for the Rock Opera.
Pavement Marine
You wanted me to die for you did you not?
Do you see me dying?
Each day my death for you a little nearer
You knew that which I did not.
But you never said.
No stark bloody truth you ever gave me.
I now be my own truth.
My dream of duty – a cherished pride.
You cheered me on – a triumphant vanguard
No solitude with my muted anger was ever promised.
I marched those stripes of red white and blue
‘Go get them’ you said
From your bars and Televisions.
‘Whip them boy. Give them one for me’.
My President too. Speeches to make me proud – and I was. I still am.
I lifted by your words and carried by my Nation.
‘Get the fucking medic now, Where is that fucking medic’.
Your fine words wasted on a dusty outpost of democracy.
From where my brotherhood lay to die.
‘Don’t die. You will not die. Medic. Medic where the fuck is the Medic’.
Now you no longer see me.
I am gaunt and grey, a silent embarrassment that haunts you.
I blend into the slabs of hardness I beg from.
I am your Pavement Marine.
First the bottle my solace,
Now the needle my constant companion.
‘You will not fucking well die. I brother am your love your life – fuck the medic, fuck you all’
I now shoot not my enemy but myself.
Your Federal programs my absent friends.
I love my needle like I loved my M16A4.
My life I see in my crystals of oblivious escape.
An irony of circumstances as you automate your feelings to me.
You do not hear my silent screaming as it engulfs my every thought.
It drowns my disciplined silence to your World.
A screaming disjointed harmony of my fears
It a confusion of light and dark deep swallowing sound.
Each disharmony a shudder to my mind’s fighting hole.
‘Medic, Medic’. There is no medic only me.
My hands deep inside the red hole of his chest.
Tears and anger. Cold fear my companion, my comrade now dead.
More my comrade; my brother, my union, my love and respect.
I am you America. Do you not see me?
I am that which you be and all that you will be.
America you have need of me; my stature is your belief.
I hold my head high. Your indifference will never defeat me.
For I die with ‘Semper Fi’ to my Nation.
Laughing, crying, silent, soulful that is I – all in one moment.
Your automation – a visual avoidance – your eyes never meet mine.
Your steps an echo of my solitude.
I seek to remind you.
I am the Nation.
Honour, Duty and the fight for freedoms.
I know who I am America. Do you?
Walk on by your dollars thrown at me.
I see your guilty eyes.
Is your conscience now appeased?
The worst of our Nation taunts me.
I laugh as they beat me.
I stand silent as they threaten me.
I crawl as they kick me.
I never beg for Mercy. For I am a United States Marine.
I sob alone in my loneliness.
Now I stare at my blood.
A river of escape for my pain.
With it a tide of relief.
My war with my Nation is nearly over.
The voices are calm now.
My lost brother nearby. He awaits me.
I feel the deafening tremors leave me.
I am proud. My pride alongside me – my dull and twisted heart of purple.
My duty will never die.
Now I will be at Peace.
Now you will know who I am.
Your goodbye to me? Full Military Honours.
You honour my death but not my life.
Now finally America I have your respect.
God Bless America.
After the Poem is read out loud to the Audience …………..
The Opera begins with life – the Marine’s Life. Loud, Disciplined, Dutiful, In Your face and for many ‘In Love’.
Act One. The USMC Military Band March in – Loud, Bright and with Football Cheerleaders at the sidelines, the March, the Soldier and his wife. The Parade Sargent.
Without warning. Everybody stops. Total Silence. The one spotlight on the centre of the area. It is dity, dusty, blea. The Marine shouts out to the World
“Where the Fuck is that Medic?”
The line of Vets suddenly illuninated. They at attention. Behind them in a row of gleaming Harley Davidso the biker Vets. They all read out these words
Once you have the imprint of a bloody brutal trauma on your mind
It never leaves you.
It is your anger,
your hate,
your solace,
your sadness,
your sometimes laughter,
your reason for living and
why it is you want to die.
A lone Marine narrates: That is why throughout this Rock Opera is the dark loudness that acts a hinge to the shuttered screaming inside the fighting pit of the mind –
The marine in the centers of the Arena Shouts “Where the fuck is that Medic@.
There is a roar which thunders around the arena as the Harleys with large USA Flags accelerate out of the arena and ride around the outside of the arena to line up once more behind the Vets Choir. (The large screens inside the arena display the Vets riding around the arena to the sound of Steppenwolf – Born to be Wild.
Song 1:
The Marines enter as they chant this song. The band picks up the pace . These are the latest recruits to the USMC. Young, Proud and with an energy that cannot be contained and must be maintained.
We are here for our Nation
We will never let you down
We are proud to be who we are
We are the Youth today
We are the men tomorrow
We are here for our Nation
We want our USA
To be the USA
Never afraid to defend
We are the Nation.
We are the USA.
Act Two.
The Marine. The Headstones. Those who have the belief that right is right and wrong is wrong and evil is to be fucked. We are the benchmarks of the World. Yes be liberal , yes be caring but when they come knocking at your door you will wish you lived next door to a United States Marine.
Yet there is more to just being ready to defend the values of your Nation.
You do not forget.
You always remember.
You always live with their sacrifice.
You are always Semper Fidelis
A row of Headstones on a giant flag of the USA. By a headstone a woman and a child. The Vets come into light. (They have been taught to sing as a Choir).
They softly sing this song
Do not Bullshit a Marine
The Marine has a DNA.
You cannot fuck with it
You cannot bullshit to it.
An order is to be obeyed.
The World is black and white.
Good guys live
Bad guys die.
Evil does’nt get a look in.
Loyalty is never traded,
Never Sold.
The Marine DNA
Is the backbone of the United States of America.
It works for the USMC
Most people would love it
if it could work for them.
I will not leave you
Medic fuck you Where is the Medic
His head now a spinning mess of what was
He smashed his head again and again
It has to fucking stop he cried
They walked past him.
Ignored Him and his Semper Fidelis.
Song 2. Our Marine Meets His Soulmate, His Wife, His Love.
Photo by Shari Sirotnak on Unsplash
Busting Heart Proud
Heart Beat his new March
Eyes straight ahead
He ablaze with new strength
She his first love
Forever his only love
He her dependence
Her child her man
A union of love
A future of fear
How they love
More than life itself
Both tears for their goodbyes
Desperate deep nights
His thoughts of her
His death often near
Tears of that constant fear
She alone
So very alone
Marine’s wife solitude
Not a duty
A life.
But in the shadows, in the dirt, amongst the dust strewn landscape barren of any growth and with a dust that hangs in the air – he is shouting ‘Where the fuck is that medic? Do not die boy, do not die, I love you, You cannot die’.
Song 3. Living in the Shadows
The darkness is my light
Its dimness my solitude
I cannot live the crowds, the People,
For I no longer
recognise these automated emotions
I cannot see who they are
for I am not of them
You have not been
where I have delved
Into the very abyss of Hell
now forever my goaler
With my eyes shut tight,
light blinds my thought
I shiver in the heat,
I shake not with fear,
But with that day again,
again and again and again
It is my bravery
that day does partner……………. with all my fear
My fear not that I would die
but that I would never leave
Leave that day I so want to leave
Yet I want all that
which that day did bring
My death
Act Two. The Marines straight proud their Nation to serve their people to protect. – yet in the shadows the darkness welcomes one of their own.
Our Marine is now ready for war.
The Marines March In, Fast, In time, The Flag of the United States of America is raised.
Song 4. You cannot know bravery without fear. Many may talk of how brave they will be but until you know that empty feeling of helplessness that is true fear then you cannot know what bravery it takes to overcome that all encompassing emotion. For a Marine as for any professional who is prepared to risk his or her life for their fellow man the bravery begins in the theatre of war. But for his girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife the bravery begins when they are alone.
Our Marine has left. His wife is alone. The military band are packing up. The sun is settling its day. She stands by his car.
Song 4. Our heart is one.
His memory now a fender of steel,
a glistening of his reflection
What road do I take now
Where will you be
This day tomorrow
Where will you be
When I cry for you
Where will you be
When I cry to sleep
I will wake each day
My first thought of you
Are you safe
Are you well
Each knock at door
A heartbeat of fear
I will not cry here
I will cry alone.
She leaves, the Marines stand silent. In salute of all those who bear the weight of their responsibility to their Nation and to those who they love. But the shadows never leave. She exits. As she does she walks past the man begging in the street. She briefly glances at the USMC fatigue jacket. She hears the man shouting. “Where are you my brother. Where the fuck are you. I want to join you”. She steps over the needle on the pavement……
Song 5. When a Marine marches into the unknown, into all his fears, into all his turmoil and into all his questions about himself he knows he is not alone. Alongside him marches the soul and spirit of all who have braved their fears to defend that which and their Nation believe in – Freedom, Justice and the right to defend that which they seek to uphold – the right for the United States of America to have a place in the World.
This song is played to the sound of the march fading into the distance, the mists of time awaken the courage and bravery of the past. From the Somme to the Normandy landings to the battlegrounds of Afghanistan and Iraq the tune marches with the Marine as he steps into the unknown. For it is not the known that he fears but the unknown.
We march with you Marine
You are not alone
We will always be your Guardians
The fears you face
We shall face them with you
We are those who before you
Gave to our Nation
All that we could give
A life for our Country
There can be no greater
We march with you Marine
You are not alone
We will always be your Guardians
Each of us Marine
We live for evermore
Our legacy to our Nation
Be a sacrifice never forgotten
March with us Marine
Hold your head up high
Your steps are into history
A history of a great Nation
We march with you Marine
You are not alone
We will always be your Guardians
Freedom, Justice our right
Our right for others too
For the United States of America
The vanguard of freedom
We shall always be
Be it Planet or Galaxy
We the People
Our right to be free
To defend all others too.
Song 6
The Beginning of the Darkness.
You were not ready
How could you ever be?
Green Lawns, Baseball, Football, Rules to Live by.
Now alone.
You and them.
They have no rules.
You see it again and again and again.
No baseball now.
You and your thoughts running through your mind.
You were not ready.
How could you ever be.
You no longer sleep.
You see it again and again and again.
You were deep in his eyes.
You had to. Before he you.
You both knew.
You were not ready.
How could you ever be.
Now you are in the abyss.
No turning back
You are no longer that boy
Now you are aged.
You were not ready.
How could you ever be.
They wanted you to die for them
Each sleep you die a little
Adrift in the Abyss
Each die another doth die
Each day you die
Each day the emptiness beckons you
Each day your soul leaves you
Each day your spirit automates
Each day you no longer know right from wrong
Each day that trigger a release
Each day you no longer know you
Each day your mind adrift
Each day you lose yourself
Red Hot Lips
Yes Yes yes You know it is her
Oh how you long
For those red hot lips
That caress that laugh
Those long tanned legs
Yeah Baby those red hot lips
She your baby – Yeah Baby
How you long for her
How you dream of her
Yeah Baby those red hot lips
You are there with her
Get the fucking medic mother fuckers
I will not let you die
You love him you cradle him
He is your true love
He would die for you
Now he dies with you
The Pavement hard, cold
The hit ebbs away
Now you are real
Now she is gone
Yeah Baby no longer
Your love is to die.
Lying still you dream.
Oh you remember the first homecoming.
The fllags, the bands, the flash of cameras
You the hero
Purple Heart with Pride
You and the President
Oh you with Pride.
At home in glory
Your love on your arm
You saunter the town
From Mayor to Sherreif
They praise you to the heavens.
They excused your drunkiness
They excused your curses at them
You wanted your home
Waiting for you.
Dry, Dusty, death in the air
Your home afar.